Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
