i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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