She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
