I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
