bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
