well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
