I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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