Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
