I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
