I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
do nipples grow back?
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