Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
