i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
