I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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