I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize