Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
