I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We got so high we made milksteak
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
