all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
