So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
