man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize