I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
