Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You are the jesus of drinking
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize