i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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