I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
