hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
