I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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