I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
