btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize