Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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