I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
