we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
