my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
