It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize