the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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