uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
