i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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