what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
