I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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