Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
