she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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