the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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