Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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