my mouth tastes like poor choices
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
