I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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