You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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