i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
