I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
