I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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