Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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