did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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