He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
where are you?
Hypothermia
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
