Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
