i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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