jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
bring money and cleavage
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
