Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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