Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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