Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize