You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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