My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
