All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
