if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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