Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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